Oh no, do they think I’m dumb?
Why did I say that? They must think I’m desperate.
I must seem like such a loser to
them.
Don’t worry, we have all been there.
We’ve all felt that sickening feeling of not knowing what to do or say because
of the shame we might feel from what other people will think of us.
But I’m here to tell you that you
need to stop. Stop caring what other people think of you.
Why? In the first place, it makes you feel bad and uneasy.
Here is a list of reasons on why you need to stop caring about what other people think of you:
- Your stress and social anxiety levels are increased.
- You are afraid to be yourself.
- You are ruining your happiness for nothing.
- It makes you insecure.
- They don’t know you and so they can’t and should not judge you.
- People’s opinion of you do not and never will define you.
The important part of life is that
you know who are and are not ashamed to be yourself in front of other people,
despite what they think of you.
When I was in high school and
college, I really wanted to seem cool and so I would hang out with everyone and
anyone and talk about anything that would make me seem cool to them.
After my oversharing, I’d feel so dumb
and was scared that they would talk about me with other people and expose my
weirdness.
Yes, I’m weird. Deal with it.
I became so conscious of my
obsession about people’s opinion of me that it was all I could think of. I
always felt anxious that people saw me as a loser or talked and laughed about
me behind my back.
I was so afraid of being judged and
made fun of that I no longer knew how to enjoy life.
I was 14 and having a crisis because
for the sake of me, I let my obsession of other people’s opinion take over my
head. I no longer had an identity of being me. I just wanted people to like me.
I pushed a lot of the shame and fear
deep down and pretended that nothing affected me, like I was some robot with no
feelings. But I also had moments where I felt very anxious about talking with
other people, making connections and friends, what to write in a text message
or email and even which emoji to send. Both of these things were not healthy
for my mental health.
Now each day, I do this. I do what
is good for me and my mindset. I choose to be grateful and live life happily
and freely. I choose to focus on myself and not on the opinion of others.
I’m not 14 anymore and I’ve come to realize that changing your perspective on something takes some work and determination. I have practiced a lot on how to stop caring what other people think of me and whenever hear that panicky voice in my head, I’d remind myself of these lessons.
Understand that the world does not
revolve around you. People are concentrating on their own life instead of you.
This was a big one that really
opened my eyes. I remember this from a Youtube video (sadly can’t find the
exact video anymore) and when this girl said that the world does not revolve
around me and people are probably not talking about me, it really helped change
my perspective on the matter.
We think so highly of ourselves
which is alright but let’s not drill into our heads that people are busy
watching and judging our every move. People might see and judge you for a
millisecond but that’s it. They forget about you and go on with their lives.
There’s no harm to it because we all do that sometimes. We see someone and
think for less than a minute; weird
looking guy, she’s so superficial, what a bossy person, and then we move
our attention to something else. That’s it.
The world does not revolve around
you and your world shouldn’t revolve around the opinion of others towards you.
Live life the way you want and remember that those millisecond judgments do not
define you.
Be private. Mind your own business
and if you don’t want people to talk about you, don’t give people something to
talk about. Don’t announce to the world every plan that pops into your head.
I’m going to lose 50 pounds.
I plan to write a best-selling
novel.
I’m starting my dream business.
I’m up for a promotion at work.
When you let everyone know your
amazing plan but it doesn’t happen, you are left with people wondering what
happened to you and why you didn’t do what you said you would. You are inviting
people to watch you and talk about you.
Do not seek attention if you do not
want judgment and everyone watching you. Move and succeed in silence. Surprise
and impress people with your actions and the result, not your empty words.
Spend some alone time to concentrate on yourself. When I started obsessing about what people thought of me, I later realized it was all in my head. I could control this and change the way it made me feel. I stopped putting energy into my fear and anxiety.
I focused on school and passing all
my subjects. I hung out with friends that accepted me and made me feel welcome
and happy. This helps tremendously with personal growth and mental health.
Stick to your values. This is so beautiful and something that I really want to emphasize. We have a certain set of values and beliefs that we believe in and make us who we are through our way of life.
Ethics Sage defines values as the
basic and fundamental beliefs that guide or motivate attitudes or actions.
I’m someone who values hard work, commitment
and self-discipline. I do my best when studying and completing assignments in
law school while I also give time to create great content for this blog because
I love blogging. Auself is my baby y’all.
But I also value kindness,
open-mindedness, humility and honesty. I want to make everyone in a group feel
included and I try my best to give people the benefit of the doubt and believe
that there is good in every person.
That’s just me because those are my
values.
Because I know what I value, I don’t
need to add others’ opinions of how to act and live my life.
Tell your own story. Your story, the
one you tell yourself and others, really matters. The more you tell a story,
the more believable and real it becomes. When you keep telling yourself that
people think you are a loser without any concrete evidence to support that
thought, you eventually come to believe it. Once you believe it, you feel down
and act upon the “I’m a loser” idea. In the end, you truly act and believe your
own story.
Stop telling yourself that people
are gossiping about you. Stop thinking that people always want to judge you and
talk about you. This helps ease any anxiety that people think badly of you.
At the end of the day, what other
people think of you does not matter. Instead, know who are, improve who you are
and embrace it.
Photo Credits: Anastasiya Lobanovskaya via Pexels.com
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