Auself

Habits are not made overnight but it will help to know what habits to incorporate and do. If you are on a journey to becoming a better and more confident version of yourself, then this post and this blog is definitely for you.

Have a plan and goals.

Being organized and tidy gives you enough time to work on the things you need to get done and give you free time for yourself. You are more comfortable and confident in yourself if your life is balanced and you know that you have completed the necessary things in life or school.

Being goal-oriented allows you to make decisions that are best for you because you know the end goal, you stay on the path and become more confident in what you want and need in life.

Good posture.

The way a person stands and sits tells a lot about them. We've always been told by our parents and even teachers to stand straight, chin up and chest out because 1. It looks better and 2. We look and feel like a more confident person. Be aware of your back and shoulders when you stand or sit. These days, we are in front of the computer for so many hours each day, that our backs give in and we hunch over. Better correct this while you still can. Do some yoga and stretching exercises or visit your doctor or chiropractor to help you.

Take action. A confident person is not all talk, no play. When you say you can and will do something, you better stay true to your word and do it. A person who just talks and brags about their resume but doesn't show any work or results looks like a liar and complete idiot at the end of the day. If you are truly confident in your skills and abilities, there isn't even any need to talk about it. Just do your best and show them what you can do.

Speak confidently. When a person opens their mouth and speaks, that's when you can determine what kind of person they are-- if they are intellectual, funny, serious or confident in themselves. Whether it is talking to friends or giving a speech, remember to articulate well, speak clearly and at a moderate and proper speed and volume (don't shout when not needed) and refrain from using filter words like "ummm" or "like". It also helps if you read a lot to widen and improve your vocabulary.

Know how to listen. Confident people also know when to be still and listen to others in a conversation or when someone else is giving their input or opinion on things. A confident person is willing to learn and is open to healthy discussion and conversations. Do not be afraid that people think your silence is weakness because you know it is not. When you have to listen, lend a ear. You don't have to be outgoing, energetic and babbling 24/7 to be a confident person.

Take care of themselves. A person who is put together and looks clean and happy will have more people persuaded that he or she is a confident person. Taking care of yourself physically means exercise, eat well, commit to a skincare and haircare routine, dress well and choose clothes and colors that are fit for your body type and take care of your smile a.k.a. have a good oral care routine and floss daily. There are so many things you can do to take care of yourself and show the image of confidence.

Don't forget you also have to care for yourself mentally, spiritually and intellectually. Read books, journal, go on mini vacations or staycations, do and enjoy your hobbies, hang out with your family and friends (people that make you feel good), and rest when needed.

Remember, it is not about looking or being perfect but it about caring for the body, heart and mind.

Support and celebrate others. When you are confident, the need or desire to put other people beneath you or belittle them is not in your cards. You celebrate other's success and you support and help them when you can. This shows a true heart of confidence and kindness.

I hope this helped. Good luck on your journey.

x Bella

Photo Credits: Pexels.com

When you seek self-improvement and personal growth, having a positive mindset will bring you miles in your journey. Your thoughts influence and guide your actions which will yield results. A positive mindset will lead you to success, confidence, and happiness while a negative one will bring you doubt, fear, and failure.

That is why it is important to protect and nurture your positive energy. When you create and find a space and mindset where you feel confident, safe, and happy, by all means, keep the beautiful energy thriving. With the many noise and distractions brought about by modern age technology and whatever crisis is going on in the world, thoughts will be clouded by some negative and toxic energy but it is up to you to maintain or return to the positive side.

Get out of toxic relationships/Cut out toxic people

No brainer with this one. More often than always, you are not the source of negativity in your life but it is the people who surround you. People who give you constant judgment, shame and feed you with negative thoughts.

Be kind.

An act or words of kindness will cost you nothing. When you do something with kindness, you feel happier and you make someone's day. You will never know what another person is going through, so it is important to show kindness to people and not expect anything in return.

When you are kind, you create the positive energy in the space and bring it with you wherever you go. You become a beacon of positivity for yourself and for others.

Set your boundaries

Boundaries are important.

Say it again for the ones in the back. Boundaries are important! When you create and communicate your boundaries to people you meet, you let them know that you respect yourself and you have limits.

Once you identify and set your boundaries, make sure to uphold them. There is no point in setting boundaries if you allow people to cross them time and time again.

Learn to say No

Two letters hold so much power. When you say no, you give yourself the power. You protect yourself from unwarranted and unnecessary stress or anxiety.

Meditate

Meditation is a beautiful process of spiritual cleaning and healing for the wounded and worried soul. When your energy is off or you are having a bad day, take a few minutes to meditate and relax so that you may return and remain in that positive energy.

Mindset is everything - Negativity is a choice

Acknowledge when a bad or negative situation occurs because you have no control over everything. But you have control over your reaction or feelings towards the situation. Choose the bright side.

Despite the fear and doubt that comes with a situation, bring your focus on things that you have control over-- how can you set things right, how can you move on and heal, how do you learn from your mistakes.

Never be afraid to admit you are wrong. What matters is that you are able to move beyond that fault and fear. You do not let your wrongdoings and mistakes define you.

Accept and Forgive

Nothing is perfect. Accept it and ask or give forgiveness where necessary and move on.

Have Some Alone Time- focus and control your energy

Spend a few minutes with you and the silence. Don't go on your phone or listen to music. Just be with yourself. You will learn to love your own company. Your energy is the only energy you have control over and you must learn how to nurture it when you are by yourself. Every thought, action and word you release into the universe, is a part of your amazing energy.

Positive Affirmations

Repeat affirmations that make you happy and help you radiate positive energy. Some fun exercises you can do are to write down an inspiring quote after waking up or before heading to bed or repeat that affirmation to yourself in the mirror before you take on the day.

Be still and let go

None of us have control over anything. Stop trying to take control a difficult situation. Stop forcing people to accept your views and beliefs. Be still and let go of petty judgments and silly arguments.

x Bella

Photo Credits: Liza Summer from Pexels

Hello there friends!

It has been the longest time since my last post. We have law school to blame for that because everyday has been a grind-- endless readings and daily recitations. I am ultimately sleep deprived and caffeine-fueled. I am not complaining. Okay, I am! I knew that the journey to becoming a lawyer would not be easy. But I am tired. All the time!

However, today is different and I feel good, like I finally had time to breathe. I decided to get on here and finish writing and publish at least one post and seeing this topic in my drafts seemed very fitting in today's life. So, here we go-- the activities that keep me happy and sane in the midst of the stress and pressures of law school.

Photo by Meruyert Gonullu from Pexels

Skincare Routine

Morning and evening skincare routine. It's those 10-20 minutes of pampering and loving my skin that makes me know I still have a handle on my life. I always tell myself that skincare is selfcare because knowing that I am giving my skin the TLC it needs makes me happy and grateful. I grew up with okay skin and as I got older, I realized how I didn't bother with even washing my face. Like, who was I? How did I survive?

Now I am wiser and on the way to glowing skin :)

Exercise

Working out and moving has amazing benefits. It keeps the body, mind, soul and energy happy and healthy. I know that life happens and when you're tired and overworked, the last thing you want to do is workout and sweat but remember, it doesn't have to be intense. Even just talking a walk or riding your bike around the block will already get your heart pumping and give you that great accomplished feeling. Enjoy the fresh air, sunlight and be happy in the moment.

This is what I do: I set a timer for 15-20 minutes and just walk around our living room, sometimes with a Netflix show on TV, so I am entertained throughout the "work out".

Photo by Meruyert Gonullu from Pexels

Naps (lots of them)

Coffee is a necessity and sleep is a luxury for law students. When you are tired, rest. You can get nothing done if you are unfocused, tired and burnt out. Take care of your vessel, nourish your mind and refresh your energy with a N.A.P.

Journaling/Blogging/Writing

I really needed a creative outlet to express my feelings, realizations and passions. So, I have this blog to share my stories and experiences and rave about my passions and I also keep a journal where I write about all the things that happen in life and the feelings that come with it.

Photo by Hailey Galloway from Pexels

Casual Reading

Law school is composed of 80% reading (maybe even more). There is a ton to read, understand and memorize; from case law, legal articles, and the law itself. You will get tired of it all and get headaches and eyesore, but that is law school for you.

When I get the chance, I "casually" read my law books. What I mean by this is that I read without the pressure. I don't think about the 60 cases I need to finish or the fact that I have 5 chapters to finish. It sounds counter-intuitive, but if are well-organized and get free time but want to use the time productively, do this. It's like reading Harry Potter with just a tad bit less magic.

Watching shows and movies that make me laugh. Laughter is the best medicine.

When you deserve a break and have time to spend, pick a show/movie that will make you feel good or inspire you. Tip: Watch an episode, not the entire season. Everything in moderation, my friend.

Planning

The best thing I can do for myself and to alleviate my anxiety is to prepare myself. When I plan and set my study schedule, I allow myself to be in control. I give myself the power to create the life I want. It sounds so simple and silly but there's just something amazing about planning your month and week. It's like creating your battle plan. You won't let yourself be engulfed by the enemy. You need to be prepared.

x Bella

It feels like only yesterday that I posted the things I learned and realized in my 24 years of living. But here we are again. Happy Birthday to me! We have reached the amazing number 25. I'm truly excited for what this time will bring and grateful for everything that I have gone through in the past year.

The previous year was filled with law school stress and triumphs, realizations, the Covid pandemic, and heartbreak. No matter what happened, I'm glad I've reached this point in my life. I'm about to enter my last year in law school so it is safe to say that 25 will be an intense year-- studying all night, maybe drown myself in coffee again (haven't had coffee in months), get my degree, review for the bar, take the bar, pass the bar, get that ATTY. and live happily ever after. That's the plan (career-wise, anyway).

I've got quite the journey ahead so it is nice to reflect on all the lessons and realizations I have gone through and experienced in the past years.

My Birthday Cake 2021. Happy 25th!

Appreciate your small circle. It's better than a group of people who randomly come and go.
Do not give anyone your sunshine when all they bring into your life is rain.
The world is cruel and some people may not show you respect or consideration but don't allow their negativity to harbor in your safe space.
Remember to be kind. Kindness goes a long way.
In difficult situations, look at the bright side and learn and move on from the rest.
Your past does not define you. When you remember the past, do not be afraid or ashamed. Be empowered and grateful that you have realized the wrong and choose to become a better version of yourself.
It is never too late to change yourself for the better.
When you have a dream, work hard and persistently for it. You may grow tired and anxious but don't give up. You are so close.
You are not difficult to love.
You are and always will be worth it.
You are not broken. You are healing and becoming whole when you choose yourself and your personal growth each day.
The pain is temporary and you will smile again.
Do not argue with close-minded or stupid people. The stress and frustration is not worth it.
Find happiness and contentment in yourself before looking for it in other people.
Do not apply retinol or chemical exfoliant on your neck for more than 2 days in a row.
Sunscreen is still your best friend.
Even just 2 hours of reading a day can make a difference. Hit the books!
Be humble and grateful for every blessing and lesson that comes your way.
Embrace your loved ones and appreciate each chance you get to be with them.
Kimchi is so good!
You can survive without coffee.
You can survive without milk tea.
Studying with flashcards is actually an effective learning tool for me. Who knew?
The greatest ingredients to any journey are honesty and intent.
When you wake up and can't love yourself as a whole, choose one thing about yourself and focus your love and attention on that. One day, you will wake up and love and appreciate every little thing about yourself.

Thank you for reading and being a part of this journey! What are the things you've learned this year? Share them in the comments below or leave a link for others to read.

x Bella

Photo Credits: Photo by Abby Chung from Pexels

Do you ever spend your mornings in bed just scrolling and staring at your screen? You know that you have a bunch of things to do but you can't find the will or motivation to get off your back and out of your bed. You just wanna stay in bed and do nothing for a while.

Before you know it, it's almost lunchtime and you have done nothing. It hasn't been a while. It has been hours. Then, instead of choosing to get up and do something productive, you just decide that today isn't the day. You put off all the things you need to do for tomorrow.

Photo by Alina Vilchenko from Pexels

Oh, if only this was always the case. We can't always move things to the next day. Some
times, we are at a crunch for time and can't allow ourselves to procrastinate any longer. But we do not have the energy or the motivation to do what we need to.

Even if it is past lunchtime, you still have a couple of hours to do a few tasks. The sun hasn't set yet. It doesn't matter how you started the day, lazy and unmotivated in bed. What matters is how you choose to end the day.

Let's jumpstart that vibe!

Our vibe or energy is not linear and at the same level 24/7. We are like our cellphones, the more activities we do, the faster our battery drains and we need to recharge. We get drained from so many factors and noise in our life. That is why we need to jumpstart and recharge when we can.

How do you jumpstart our vibe? You need to clear your mind and return to a blank slate.

Perhaps, you already know what activity you need to do to accomplish this. But if you don't, check below for a list of some activities that might help.

Take a Nap

Photo by Meruyert Gonullu from Pexels

If you've been on your phone or computer for hours, mindlessly consuming the latest social media trends and viral videos and gossip, I think it's time to put the phone down but not before setting an alarm for 10-20 minutes.

Naps help with relaxation, reducing fatigue, increasing alertness, improving mood and performance.

Rest your eyes and take a short nap. It always helps me. It feels like you are restarting your day. When your alarm rings, get up and get to work.

Meditation/Breathwork

Photo by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels

Breathwork is an amazing and effective technique to improve one's mental, physical and spiritual well-being. It helps a person relax, focus and reduce stress or anxiety.

Sometimes we need a little refresher and one of the best ways is to sit in a quiet and comfortable room or area of your home, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing patterns. Breathe in and feel the air travel to your lungs and relax, then breathe out and with it, release all the tension and negativity.

Meditation is easy and it is a beautiful process of spiritual cleansing and healing for the wounded and worried soul. When you are having a bad day and need the energy and motivation to start or get back to work, take a few minutes dedicated to meditation and relaxation.

Start planning

Photo by fotografierende from Pexels

Planning isn't just an effective organizational tool. It is a fun and relaxing way of organizing your daily and weekly activities, making life easier and manageable. Using a planner holds so many benefits for a person.

Oftentimes, we do not want to start working and prefer to scroll on every social media site because we have no idea where or how to start work. That is why planning is so important.

You may be asking how planning can jumpstart your vibe and energy. When you plan and set out each step of your work project, you are not going in blindly. You become prepared. That feeling of preparedness and knowing what to do eases confusion and lessens anxiety.

Your planning does not have to be extensive. If you haven't used a planner before, then create a simple list of the tasks you need to complete.

Organize/clean and shower

Photo by cottonbro from Pexels

You probably do not have the motivation to do any work because you are surrounded by so much clutter. If this is the case, take a few minutes to clean and organize your desk or room. This might take more than a few minutes in reality but there is nothing wrong with cleaning up and creating a relaxing environment.

Do not stop at cleaning your room. When was the last time you showered and washed your hair? Personal hygiene is important to make us feel good as well. When we are clean and our surroundings are clean and organized, we feel ready to start on our work and get things done.

Affirmations

Photo by Alina Vilchenko from Pexels

We need a few positive reminders of how strong, confident, and capable we are. When life throws challenges your way, it is impossible to not feel overwhelmed and helpless at times. Affirmations are great tools to keep us aligned and reprogram our thoughts into positive perspectives.

A great daily practice to do is to begin your day by looking in the mirror and repeating an affirmation to yourself. It is not enough that you say it. You have to repeat it and believe it. This practice is also great and effective in the middle of the day to jumpstart your vibe and get yourself motivated to do work.

Have a change of scenery

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

During this pandemic, a lot of us have been stuck at home. While it is for our health and safety, we cannot deny that we can become bored or depressed in the four walls of our home. Our habits and activities are limited and have become predictable. Our lack of motivation may stem from our lack of connection and creativity during this difficult time. Perhaps we have become too familiar and comfortable with our study or workspace and can no longer find the energy or motivation to work.

If possible, you can go outside and do your work in a beautiful park or a coffee shop. You can even just find a new spot in your house to do your work or study. If doing work on your desk is daunting, try sitting by a window this time. Maybe you can rearrange the furniture and redecorate the room. A change of scenery can truly help you find inspiration to start and finish the work you have.

x Bella

Three steps. Set a goal, make a plan, and do it.

I've been using planners to help me with my chaotic and busy life since I was in college. Back then, I was not very good at utilizing my planner to make my life easier. The only reason I actually got one was to look "busy and professional". To my regret, there were weeks or even months that I totally forgot and ignored my planner. I would write down my daily or weekly schedule and tasks but still end up doing whatever I wanted and oftentimes, these things were very unproductive. They were a wasteful use of my time.

Time is the most precious gift and resource we have in this life. We cannot turn the clock and get back lost time. It was important to me that I stop this awful habit of misusing my time so I continued to use a planner until I got used to it and made it a part of my daily routine. Keeping and using planners have amazing benefits.

Get order and clarity in your work/school/day-to-day life.

On a scale of 1 to 10, how busy are you, 10 being super busy you have no idea what's going on around you? You can overlook some tasks and become overwhelmed with multiple deadlines, meetings, to-do's, and events in one day. You become an overworked zombie who loses sense of time for yourself and your loved ones. There are no clear boundaries because all you do is work, work, and work!

With a planner, you are able to control and schedule the flow of your day the way you want and which soothes you. You are able to create and have time for all aspects of your life.

Time Management.

If you are a relatively busy person, you need a planner to help you set time to complete all your goals and projects. Making a mental list of things you need to do and places you need to be will not meet the cut because we think of a million things in one day and the chances of forgetting that one task or deadline is possible. It is important to have a planner to organize and plan time for each specific task or activity.

Improve productivity.

Imagine each day is a project. To finish the project, you need to create a plan, determine the supplies you need, gather these supplies, and follow the steps of your plan to completion. If you do not have a plan and start your project blindly, you will meet a lot of problems along the way and may not be able to finish the project. That is a lot of wasted time and energy.

When you have a lot going on, you may not know where to start. It is important to have a set schedule or action plan for the day. When you have a clear plan, you will be more productive and confident in what you do because you have set everything beforehand. You know what you need to do.

Reduce stress and anxiety

Having a lot on your plate contributes to the pressure of your work, resulting in added and unwanted stress and anxiety. Using a planner helps in easing this stress and anxiety by making sure you are aware of upcoming deadlines and events, you know where to be and what to do and you are not just going around in circles wondering, being nervous, and panicky.

Keep record

The great thing about having a planner is having a record of all the events and activities you did during a long period. It shows your progress and your capabilities in what you do, and all the amazing celebrations and memories you have made.

Sometimes I will look at my planner and see all the tasks I've completed and goals I've reached. It's just beautiful and fulfilling seeing how far I've come during the year.

You will see your priorities.

Not everything will be a priority and that is okay. Repeat that to yourself.

You do not have to do every single request or task given to you if you know it does not benefit you or it is not your responsibility or obligation to do it. By setting a schedule in your planner, you will see your priorities in life and you will realize that all this "extra work" that people give you is not worth it. People will ask for a favor or push you to do things, but when you know that you have a full plate and it is not your job or problem to do the work for them, it is okay to say no.

Stress relief or a creative hobby/outlet.

The amazing thing about planners is that there is no steadfast rule to how you use them. Some people just write everything in while others use stickers, washi tape, and different colored pens in their planning routine. If you really want to let your creativity run wild, you could even start bullet journalling. It all depends on your creative desires and what works for you when it comes to planning and setting goals.

Focus on important things.

During a week, you may have several major events to attend to do. In the days leading to a major event, you can be distracted because of your excitement or nervousness about the upcoming major event. It happens to all of us.

With a planner, you can focus on the present important things for the day because you have written everything down. You know that the event on Saturday does not call your attention right now because of the four tasks and two meetings you have to accomplish and attend for Tuesday.

Know your limits and when not to overbook yourself.

Planning is like practicing life. We write down all the things we have to do on the pages of our planner. We may not accomplish all of them. We may hate doing some of them. A planner helps you realize how much workload you can take, what time of the day you are most productive, what makes your day productive and better, and when you need to rest and recharge.

Feel better at the end of the day by crossing out to-do's or tasks.

There is just something great about knowing that you completed your work for the day and crossed or checked out all your tasks on your planner. You feel accomplished and happy because you know you did your best and you were able to finish each task. You are closer to reaching your goals and dreams.

So, what are you waiting for? Start using a planner for all your goal-setting. You lose nothing when you decide to use a planner to organize and enjoy your life. Find the right planner and planning style for you and you will reap all the benefits of planning and hit your goals in no time.

Happy Planning!

x Bella

Photo Credits: @fotografierende via Pexels.com

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