How to Become the Right Kind of Confident

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I am obsessed with confidence because growing up, I did not have a lot of it. So, I would always be reading about how to gain confidence and become a confident, successful person.

I believe that confidence is an ingredient to a happy life. When you are a confident person, you are happy and grateful and you know your true self and your worth. You are secure in who you are and what you are doing in life.

Becoming confident was always an end goal for me. My strategy to gaining confidence was to break it till I make it.  This may or may not work for you so here I have a few tips on becoming a confident person.

Being comfortable with who I am did not happen overnight. It took some work and realizations. I had to change my perspective on a lot of things, I had to meet some nasty people, doubt myself, lose myself, find myself, piece myself back together. The whole lot. 

This is for those who want to win the confidence game-- be confident the right way. Not a boastful, vain person. I don't think those types of people are truly confident. They may be insecure and comparing themselves to others so much that they have formed this superiority complex and now shield themselves with a wall of intimidating "confidence".

Gaining confidence is one thing but keeping it and knowing how to handle that newfound confidence is another journey. It’s like becoming famous. It can get to your head. But you need to stay grounded and know that with great confidence, comes great responsibility. That’s what they say, right? If it’s not, then no worries. Let’s just tell you how to win that confidence game anyways.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

know you’re beautiful and you are not afraid to show it to the world. That’s a great thing that you acknowledge the beauty and power you possess. But being confident does not mean you have to be better than everyone else. It doesn’t require you to think or say negative things about other people and to put them down just so you can feel better about yourself. In the real world, that is either being insecure or being a bully. Both are pretty bad titles if you ask me.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

Here’s the thing. Not everyone will know and understand you. Some will think you are faking that “I’m confident and I love myself” attitude and try to call your bluff and criticize you. This can either be some solid honest feedback or cold harsh plain hate.

You don’t have to retreat and crawl into a shell thinking “Oh my gosh they’re right.” Instead, reflect on what they had to say and accept that people will have opinions all the time. It’s totally fine to accept people’s comments about you even if you don’t agree because hey, they don’t know the life you live.

When it comes to hate comments, however, it’s best to ignore those ones and continue on your journey to becoming the confident person you want to be.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

Ah, Instagram. It’s impossible to ignore what people post on the platform and see how aesthetically pleasing their life is. Their pictures are just so perfectly angled with the right filters.

You can totally find inspiration from these people with their style, makeup, food and restaurant recommendations and even workouts and health tips.

But remember that you are not a clone. You have your own type of confidence. You should never try to become like someone else just because they’re oozing confidence and popularity and you want to be just like them. Admire other people but be your own idol and focus and work on yourself.

Photo by Pavel Danilyuk from Pexels

They say the grass is greener on the other side. Maybe it is. But who cares? That’s their grass, not yours. Work on making your grass as green and healthy as it can be instead of looking over the fence.

In case you are a little confused, we're not talking about being a green thumb. I am saying: stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to other people is a recipe for disaster. It could ruin the progress you make in your confidence journey.

You are on a different level of life right now. It might not be the level you want to be in but that’s why you have to focus on your own work and progress so that you can reach that level. Wishing and hoping you were on someone else’s level isn’t helpful and is pretty unrealistic as that person has different goals from you. You are a different person with unique confidence, remember that.

x Bella

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