Habits That Keep You Away from Your Goals

Life becomes so much more amazing when you realize what you want out of it and where you want to go. You begin to plan what you have to do in order to reach all your goals in life. You start making vision boards, staying up late learning new skills or working your butt off on getting your business off the ground, making career changes, and putting so much focus and energy into achieving what you truly want and desire to be and have in this world. 




We all have a dream life and there absolutely nothing wrong with doing everything we can to get it. Making dreams come true is never an easy road though. You will be met with so many challenges-- fear, financial problems, failures, doubt from others and of course, yourself. Along the way, you might even feel like you have no idea what direction your life is heading to and you ask yourself Is this worth it?, What am I doing? or Why did I think I could achieve this?

Never give up on your dreams. You will get tired, you will fail and you will feel so many negative emotions but do not give up or quit. Just take a break, rest and reflect on your progress. Then, it's time to get back out there and show how you make lemonade when life gives you lemons!

If you are feeling like you have lost all your passion and motivation on your goals and dreams in life, maybe it's time to look at the little [bad] habits you have that are not good and healthy for you. 

1. Screen time before bed. We are always on our gadgets and despite the amazing way the internet connects us with friends and loved ones located across the globe, the negative effects of modern day technology are prevalent. Have you ever been in bed and getting comfy for a night's rest when you decide to just do one last scroll on Instagram? Check your Facebook posts? Check your emails? Watch just one Youtube video?

Before you know it, the five minutes turns into one hour then two hours and you are engulfed in your recommended videos and related posts and it's already 2 in the freaking morning! You go to sleep finally, tired from all the scrolling and social media adventure. 

I have done this more times than I can remember and I wake up hating myself and wishing I had  a few extra hours to stay in bed. Then I spend my day like a zombie drinking too much coffee. Using your phone in bed and making it the last thing you do before calling it a night will give you lousy sleep. A good night's sleep is essential to a productive day and good health.

Do yourself a favor and reduce your use of gadgets before bed. Do not bring your gadgets into bed and go to sleep with them. According to the Sleep Foundation, electronic back-lit devices like cellphones, tablets, readers and computers emit short-wavelength enriched light, also known as blue light, which has been shown to reduce or delay the natural production of melatonin in the evening and decrease feelings of sleepiness. Blue light can also reduce the amount of time you spend in slow-wave and rapid-eye movement (REM) sleep. 

In a study published in February 2020, it was found that restricting mobile phone use during bedtime reduced sleep latency, pre-sleep arousal, and negative affect, and increased sleep duration, positive affect, and working memory.  It was effective in improving sleep quality.

In conclusion, if you are on your phone reading my blog posts at 2:00AM, I appreciate and thank you!  But also, cut out the phone-before-bed tradition.



2. Not getting enough sleep. We need to rest and recharge our bodies. We are not robots, we are human beings with dreams and goals that we need to work hard for. Sleep is important and essential to a healthy and happy life.

When you don't get enough sleep, your day will be filled with headaches, inability to concentrate, mood swings, low energy and regret.

Get at least 7-9 hours of sleep. If you can't do this, make sure you give yourself time to relax and even nap during the day so you won't get burnt out and become ineffective or unproductive.

3. Comparing yourself. Look at you! You are beautiful and incredible in your own way. That's why I wonder: Why do you think you are not enough?

Is it because of what society tells you? What you see on social media? What the movies and TV shows show you? How people treat you? How you think you should be treated? Stop. Stop. And stop comparing yourself.

If you keep comparing yourself to other people, you will get stuck in life. You will start to work on dreams and goals that are not your own, all because you see others doing it. You will waste your time watching other people and wishing their success is yours, instead of working towards your own success in life. You will lose focus on where you want to go in life, all because you want to be living someone else's. 

Comparison is the little devil that wants you to feel small and sad. But you are not. No one is. We each hold a power to create and manifest all our dreams and happiness and we all have a role to make the world great. Appreciate yourself and your efforts, work on becoming the person you want to be, which is the best version of you. Grow your positive energy and remove, say goodbye and walk away from all the negativity in your life. 

I need you to take all the energy and time you use scrolling on social media and comparing yourself to photoshopped influencers, and use it to work on yourself and learn to love all that you are. 

I know it is not easy to stop comparing yourself to other people. I compared myself to others almost every day of my life. Even as a child, I felt like I was the epitome of all that is "unattractive". Someone was always prettier, taller, smarter and better than me. I would pick out all my flaws and focus on all that was "wrong" with me. I had very low confidence and wished I was someone else. I'm glad I changed that mentality and have learned to accept and love myself. But I am human, and I have moments of regret, fear or insecurity. Those are my bad days, the days when I remind myself that self-love is a continuous journey and each day, I choose to stay on that journey. 

4. Idolizing others. I've written a post about why we need to stop idolizing celebrities and this might be your cup of tea. Just like comparing yourself to others, idolizing someone can get to a great point of creating insecurity and distraction. We make it a habit to check their social media, watch all their stories, search every corner of the internet for pictures, videos and news about them and become a keyboard warrior against haters in their honor. We make them a big or even central part of our lives.

Instead of idolizing someone, let us take inspiration from them and their hard work. Do not lose focus on you and your goals. Stay on the path of your own greatness.

5. Setting unrealistic goals/standards. Dream big and reach for the stars! But don't expect to reach the stars on the first try.

If we set a goal, we need to remember and accept that there may be a few hiccups and failures on the way there. But isn't that the best thing about reaching goals? We fail but we learn. We gain experience and wisdom from every up and down in life. We fall but we do not quit or lose hope. We get up and keep going.

Remember, to get to a big goal, you have to reach a few small goals first. Have a plan and write down your mini goals. This will help you have a clear picture of where you are headed and see your progress along the way. It is also great because you avoid being overwhelmed or discouraged with a big task. 

Have patience and take time to research, study and learn the things you need to get to your goal. Maybe...

You have to learn a new skill- train and practice whenever you can.
You have to go back to school for your dream job- be a good student and study well.
You are not financially there yet- save up or get a loan.




6. Negative Talk. Are you the one who is putting yourself down?

This is a funny story. Everyone else believes in you, is cheering you on and is giving you the support and opportunities that you need. The problem is you, the one person you have control over, talking crap about your own dreams, your own work, and your own life. Your negativity is the one keeping you away from what you want. 

If you are afraid of change or failure, that is okay because maybe we all are. We love what is easy and familiar so we decide that we don't wanna get out of our comfort zones and put ourselves out there. But we must do it anyway because our goals and dreams are worth it. We are all worth it.

Turn your negative talk into a pep talk and be your own cheerleader. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you can do it. Believe in yourself! That funny story I told you? It's probably not true. There will always be someone who will say that you can never make it or think you are not enough. Do not let that reality discourage you.

When I decided I wanted to go to law school, I was so scared and doubtful in the beginning, but I told myself that if I would never know if I never tried. So, I applied to law school and took the entrance exams, and I got in. Three years later, in the middle of a pandemic and countless hours of studying and memorizing the law, I'm still in law school and on the path to getting that ATTY. 

7. Not setting the right intentions. In any journey of change, growth and life, the most beautiful and important thing that you can put out there is intent. What are your true intentions to reaching this goal? 

Your goal is powered by your intention. What motivates you to do the things that you do? Be honest with this because putting your time and effort into something that you do not really want will be a big waste of your time.

Doing things just to impress others or because it is a trend and others are doing it is not the way to go. Be original and honest with what you truly desire out of your life. Remember, your intention affects your actions which lead to your reality. Choose a reality worth living for.


x Bella




Photo Credits: Pexels.com

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