This
is probably the saddest intro I will ever write. But for anyone who is
experiencing FOMO or social anxiety, this post is for you.
People deal with FOMO and social
anxiety differently. Here, I talk about my experiences with the two and how I
was able to ease the negative impacts they have.
FOMO. The fear of missing out.
I never knew this was a real thing
until I started experiencing it myself. This was why I always felt left out and
(emotionally) hurt when I was not invited to group gatherings.
At first, I shrugged this off and
just thought “I’m too cool for them anyway”.
But it eventually got to me. It hit
me to the core that people didn’t want to include me or invite to hang out. I
felt like nobody.
This irrational fear led to:
- Insecurities “Why don’t people like having me around?” “Am I ugly?” “I thought I was fun enough”.
- Social anxiety. I avoided people so I wouldn’t feel bad if they didn’t notice and say hi to me.
- Embarrassing (and regrettable) confrontations with people about not inviting me anywhere
What is social anxiety?
According
to socialanxietyinstitute.org, it is the fear of being judged and evaluated
negatively by other people, leading to feelings of inadequacy, inferiority,
self-consciousness, embarrassment, humiliation and depression.
These
are some ways that helped me (and are still helping) lessen and get rid of FOMO
and social anxiety in my life.
MUTE EVERYONE'S STORIES
I
hated watching people’s stories of them going out and having fun because I
wasn’t there. I didn’t have any idea there was even a party or get together.
I
muted everyone’s stories on messenger and let me tell you…I felt much more calm
and relief. Sure, I was ignorant as to whether these people were still hanging
out without me but I did not see that anymore and it stopped triggering any
fear or anxiety.
DELETE (OR TAKE A BREAK FROM) SOCIAL MEDIA
Instagram.
Facebook. Twitter. Snapchat. The whole lot. They can be toxic or completely
useless and add no value in your life.
More
people are reporting how they became happier after leaving social media. Why?
- No more comparing themselves to other people who looked “happy” and “more successful”.
- They stopped seeing the pictures of events they never got invited to.
- They no longer spent hours scrolling and “liking”.
- They stopped triggering and feeding the “need” to have more things.
- More focus on people around them.
- More time to do hobbies or prioritize what needs to be done.
Having
an account on every social media site is not a requisite to anything. It’s not
needed to live a good and satisfying life at all. Unless you are earning the
big cash from creating and posting online, social media may not have any place
in your life.
If
it triggers any sadness and no longer sparks joy in your life, don’t use it. But,
if it still benefits you in some way, take necessary breaks from using social
media.
BE MORE PRIVATE.
When
people didn’t invite me to hang out with them, my initial reaction was to push
myself on them and make it seem like I was soooo exciting and that they would
be so lucky to include me on their guest list.
I
ended up talking too much, oversharing about my life and just sounding like an
idiot half of the time.
The
result?
They
still didn’t invite me out and I was left alone feeling like I exposed my heart
and soul to them but got left in the dust. Ouch.
That’s
when I realized…
I
need to stop pretending I am someone I’m not.
I
need to stop pushing friendships that may never happen.
I
need to stop focusing time and energy on impressing others.
Being
private is not being shy or reserved. It’s knowing how amazing you are and not
having to shout it out for everyone to hear. Knowing yourself is the greatest
joy in the world.
By
being private, you can focus energy and time on improving yourself and your
well being. Move in silence. That’s beautiful.
MEDITATE
I
like to think of meditation as a time to reboot. It is very easy to start
implementing daily meditation (yes, I said daily) in your life and it offers so
many benefits. Just take a look at this awesome infographic:
BE GRATEFUL
This
fear of missing out and social anxiety stem from a place of sadness and
dissatisfaction. We crave attention and validation from others and when we
don’t receive any, we are left feeling unworthy and unfulfilled with ourselves.
Take a moment and create a
list. It doesn’t have to be written, it can just be in your head. What’s
important is the realization that you have goodness in your life and you should
be grateful for all of it.
Here’s my list: my family, the
pizza I had for lunch, my health, the internet, Youtube, my opportunity to
study, my freedom, my talents, my comfy bed, friends that really matter.
Start making your list and
afterwards, hold that gratitude in your heart for a few minutes and let it
uplift your mood and banish away all the negativity.
xx Bella
Photo Credits: Pexels.com
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